Do yourself a favor and be happy.

I figure I’ll get better. Nooooooo. Not like, “ommmmg im soooooooo heartbroken but I’ll be okay one day, I promise!” No. Not like that at all. More like the fact that I’m content. Content with the knowledge that life for me WILL get better. So dumb, but you know that one line in Somebody That I used to Know”But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over.”That’s me. Through all the bullshit, I worked my ass off to keep things together. It’s fucked up. It would literally feel like there was a giant weight on me that I couldn’t shake off or was reluctant to doing so. It’s just that now, I realize, that there’s a huge difference between doing what makes you happy and doing what you THINK makes you happy. I thought, for the longest time that being with you was what truely made me happy. But the more I think about it now that I’m ready to move on, the more I realize that it really isnt. Maybe that’s what pushes me more and more apart. True, I break. True, I have moments where I freak out and cave… But somehow I know that it won’t last. That’s what I mean by thinking I’ll get better. I truly and honestly believe that soon I’ll be able to justnot care. And the only reason why I see this so differently between a typical break up and my own twist on it, is that I’m anticipating it with absolute giddy-ness. At this point, it’s engraved in my mind to care. But there is something so… intriguing about the thought of just not caring at all. I’m stoked for it. I know it doesn’t come easy, which is why I won’t stupidly say to myself that I don’t care. But I’m hopeful for the future. I know you’ll do exactly what I wish you wouldn’t. I know you’ll attempt at making my life a living hell by going back to her. But I anticipate the day that I’ll be able to look at you and realize how much of a better person I am without you. I’m already on my way.